Never Any Regrets
by WildLioness
Summary: Lily's been pushed too far, Remus gets laid, Sirius bakes a pie, James asks for a promise he can't keep and Peter changes a life. "Never any regrets. It's the number one rule of the Marauders. Ten years from now, we'll look back and say we had no regrets, we did everything we wanted, everything we could. We'll say that we had fights and we had love and sadness and everything else.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm done with all of this. You have to be such a cow, don't you Petunia? You are just jealous that I'm different, that I can do things you can't." Lily Evans, face reddened in anger, stormed across the once tidy living room. Pillows tossed in anger rested above the fireplace, on the coffee table and one in Petunia's hands.

"You little bitch. You think you're all that Lily. But you aren't anything. . Just because you've got a stick of wood and 'magic'." Petunia snarled the last word, face turning ugly as rage overtook her. She fisted the pillow, nails ripping through the patterned fabric. "You're a FREAK. An unloved, stupid FREAK! I bet all your 'magic' friends don't like you either. Too 'normal' to be one of them, but too 'different' to be one of us. Alone and nobody likes you!"

A cruel smile etched its way across Petunia's face as Lily froze. She'd hit a soft spot, a little bit of doubt in 'Princess' Lily's head.

"You don't understand. You'll never understand. **_Muggle_**." Lily's expression was one of disgust as she spoke the last word. "Fuck you, Petunia. Enjoy the rest of your boring life getting done up the ass by your whale husband."

Pulling her wand out of her pocket, Lily concentrated on the stairs for a moment and her trunk floated down them.

"Tell mum and dad I said bye." Lily touched the trunk, and with a crack that echoed round the room, Disapparated.

Lily stumbled as she landed on the lawn of Chelsea Porter, one of her closest friends and roommate at school. Tears streamed down her face, the pain of Petunia's words hitting her heart _hard_. How her sister could be so cruel was unimaginable. Yes, they didn't get along, yes, that sometimes escalated into screaming fights and silence that lasted for days, but for Petunia to say that none of her friends liked her because she was muggleborn was something too close to the truth in the wizarding world. A rising political party was setting their ideals into everyone's heads, especially those who thought they were being looked over, namely 'pureblood' families with bloodlines stretching back centuries.

"Lily?" Chelsea, all blonde hair and brown eyes, opened the front door. "Are you alright?"

"No. Petunia and I had a fight. A bad fight and, and, I left. I couldn't. Oh, I swore at her and called her a cow and, and." Lily dissolved back into the tears she thought she'd stopped. "I'm such a bitch, Chelsea. I've got to go back and apologise."

"No you don't. Stay with me for a little while. It's only a week till school goes back anyway. Call your parents and tell them what happened and that you're staying her." Looking up at the sky, Chelsea gave Lilly a reassuring hug. "Let's go inside. I think it might rain." Lifting Lilly's trunk with a wave of her wand, Chelsea led her teary friend into her house.

"Where'd you go, Chels? Oh. Lily. Are you all right?" James Potter was standing in the hallway of the Porter house, a decorated mug in his hands. He placed the mug, steam curling off it, on a sideboard and was quickly at Lily's side.

"Her sister." Chelsea wrapped an arm around Lily, who was still wiping her eyes. "Honey-boo, it'll be alright." She stroked Lilly's back comfortingly and clicked her fingers with her other hand. A house elf appeared, looked at Lilly and disappeared again. Seconds later, it was back with Chelsea's mother.

"Dearie me, what have we got here? Lily, it's lovely to see you again, even like this." Eliza Porter was a short woman, with a motherly air and a pear-shaped figure. She hugged Lily and dropped a kiss on her head. "Come into the kitchen and have a tea. Milfred, could you put Lily's case in the bedroom across from Chelsea please?" The house-elf disappeared, taking Lily's case with it as the four moved down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Now, hunny. Tell mumma 'Liza what happened." Mrs Porter had poured Lilly a cup of tea and sat her down at the kitchen bench with a plate of ginger cookies.

After taking a few sips of the citrus tea, Lily began to speak.

"Petunia and I got into a fight about something or other and it ended with her telling me that I was alone and unloved and me telling her to 'eff off and, yeah, some other things I won't repeat." She took a cookie from the plate in front of her and twirled it in her hand before taking a slow bite. "I'm such a bitch. It was so out of line and I really need to go back and apologise. God, I just feel so awful."

"Lily, I don't doubt that you and your sister don't get along but you aren't a bitch. I bet she started it, and you've always had a fiery temper." James adjusted his glasses, and reached for Lily's hand, "Go back and apologise when you don't feel like collapsing into your bed and crying for ages."

"Thanks James." Lily gripped his hand. "I think I'd just like to go to bed, honestly."

"It's four in the afternoon Lily. Go to bed now and you'll be up all night." Chelsea sipped her tea, blowing out her cheeks at Lily's idea.

"I'm not going to sleep, just lie there or read or something." Standing, Lily placed her mug in the sink. "I just want to be alone for a little bit."

3am. An inappropriate time to be awake. Lily crept down the hall, moving silently down the stairs, treading carefully on the edges so the old house would not creak. Entering the kitchen, she moved to the fridge and opened the door. The light spilling out reflected off the glasses situated on the face of a young man, frozen in the midst of eating stolen piece of rich chocolate cake.

"Lily?"

The person in question nearly dropped the large plate she was holding, on which sat a large cake, with several pieces cut out of it.

"Shit." She spun, wand out and at the ready. "God, James you scared me."

"Sorry. Couldn't sleep either? _Lumos_" James motioned to the seat across from him at the kitchen bench and tapped his wand to light it. "Have a seat. The cake is really good."

Lily cut herself a piece and sat, taking in James, black hair mussed from sleep, no shirt and (she was hoping) pants of some kind. His hazel eyes had light bags underneath them, a product of too many late nights.

"Feeling a bit better about yourself now?" James drummed his fingers on the table, possibly nervous, possibly bored.

"Definitely. I just needed to get out of the house and out of my own head. Away from Petunia and her snobby outlook. This is going to sound sad, but I can't wait to get back to school. Hogwarts is like home. I spend more time with Gryffindor than I do with my family." Lily gestured with her fork and the piece of cake that had been sitting on it flung off and hit James in the chest.

"Gee, thanks Lily. I did want a bit more cake." He licked his finger and wiped of the cake before sticking in his mouth. "I know what you mean about Hogwarts. I mean, Remus, Peter and Sirius, they're my brothers. We're more than friends, we're family. I mean, the people we know now we'll probably know for the rest of our lives. Take Chelsea. I've known her since I was about six and she's like family. Sirius too, I've known him since first year and he's my brother in every way but blood. Actually, probably blood too. Pureblood families. Always marrying their siblings." James shivered at the thought. "Sirius is visiting his uncle this week, the sane one," He stated, seeing Lily's raised eyebrow. "So I got bored and decided to spend the week here instead. Eliza's like a second mum."

"It's hard to think that sometimes, like this is nearly it. Halfway through sixth year, this time next year, we'll be preparing for our final exams. At least we aren't being smashed with homework yet." Lily shook her head, amazed at the speed at which time was flowing.

"Not being smashed with homework? You're dreaming, Lil. I bet five galleons you'll be head girl next year. Remus' probably be head boy, or that Hufflepuff, Rick something." James brushed his hair, a little too long, out of his eyes and checked his watch. "It's four am. Time to go back to bed?"

"Nah. I can't sleep. Reoccurring nightmares. They kick in when I get stressed. Bits and pieces of things. I see the crash over and over again." Lily ducked her head, embarrassed at mentioning something so personal. Most of her closest friends didn't even now.

"Crash? What crash?" James reached over and slipped his fingers under Lily's chin, lifting her head.

"A car crash. You know what a car is, right?" James nodded. "Well my family got into a head on with another car and then it turned into a pile-up. Three dead, my dad in hospital unconscious with a broken leg, mum with a punctured lung, Petunia relatively unharmed, bar a broken arm and a few scratches."

"What about you?" Now James looked intrigued, wanting to know more about Lily's past.

"I got off the worst. Dislocated shoulder, four broken ribs, unconscious for two weeks and a badly damaged liver. They operated and removed about a quarter of it. I was ten." Lily shook her head at James shocked look. "I'm fine now. Got a nice scar though. I tell the girls it's from a piece of glass when I was little. Chelsea and Hestia know, but they're about it."

"And now me."

"Well yes, and now you." Lily look at her hands, which had been absentmindedly 'playing' the piano on the table.

"Why me? Why tell me? We aren't particularly close and I've never told you something like that about me." Lily stilled her hands, looking at James as he questioned her.

"You were here and, for some reason, I trust you. You make me mad and you make me laugh when I'm crying. It's like, I don't know, and this sounds stupid, but like I've known you for years."

"You have." James smirked, "We've seen each other two hundred days a year for the past five years."

"Not like that. Like, we've been best friends before and then we weren't and we already know each other but we don't." Lily dropped her head to the table. "I know it sounds stupid."

The pair sat in silence for a while, mulling over themselves and each other.


	2. Chapter 2

"Want to watch the sunrise?" Lily awoke, having fallen asleep on the table, to James taking the kettle off the stove.

"Mhhmekium?" Lily lifted her head. "Wassa time?"

"Five. We both fell asleep for a little bit, and I woke up about ten minutes ago. Anyway. Sunrise? From my room, there's access to the roof, if you're prepared to climb out onto the gutter for a bit. The sunrise is gorgeous from up there." James put tea bags into two mugs and poured in the now boiling water. Setting one cup in front of Lily and placing the other cup on the bench, he turned around, got the milk out of the fridge and grabbed a pot of sugar cubes from the cupboard. He dropped two sugars into Lily's tea, one into his own and a dash of milk in each. James then proceeded to grab a spoon from the drawer, stirred his own tea once and Lily's twice, once clockwise, once anticlockwise.

"How do you know me so well?" Lily slipped off her chair and followed James out of the kitchen, down the hallway and up the stairs.

"I notice things. Peter's eyebrow twitches when he's thinking hard, Remus taps his left temple when he's stressed. You drink your tea with down sugars, a dash of milk and two stirs and you also play piano." James sipped his tea and pushed open the door to a bedroom that intimately reflected his personality.

A Montrose Magpies bedspread, pictures of their most famous players, several band posters, mainly of wizard band 'Wand Republic' and lots of pictures of the 'Marauders'. Sirius, Peter, Remus and James posed together in wizard photos, flying on brooms and just hanging out. A prominent photo was the 1977 Gryffindor quidditch team holding the quidditch cup, James, arms around Sirius and the captain, Charles Morset, was in the centre.

James handed his mug to Lily and pulled the doona off the bed.

"I have a feeling it's colder out there than it is in here." Searching through a dresser, James threw an old quidditch jersey over his slender but muscled frame. It read 'POTTER' across his shoulder blades and it was obviously from a few years back, as the sleeves only reached to mid-forearm. He pushed them to his elbows and unlatched the window. Lily could feel the cold seep through the window and she shivered.

"Could I borrow a jumper?"

James, head out the window, motioned to the top drawer of his dresser. Lily put down the tea and opened the drawer before grabbing the first warm looking item she could find. James' many years on the quidditch team had apparently granted him several team jumpers. Lily tossed the jumper over her head and pulled it on. James might not appear to be tall or built across the shoulders, but the jumper was massive on Lily. Her hands were covered with a good inch of sleeve to spare and the bottom of the jumper rested halfway down her thigh, almost entirely covering the pink, owl pictured, boxers she had been wearing.

"Alright. Leave the tea there and follow me." Bundling up the doona, James stepped out the window onto a small ledge. "Step carefully, it's not very wide. We just go along here." James, one hand on the roof of the house, stepped lightly along the tiny ledge. "And up onto there." Lily, both hands pressed to the side of the roof, was moving at a snails pace along the roof.

"Where? Oh." James had reached an area of roof that backed onto what was probably the attic. It was a medium sized alcove, probably a metre and a half wide by two metres and backed by two grubby windows that looked into the attic. He dried the concrete and put down the doona.

"Sit, I'll grab the tea." He bounded back across the roof, as comfortable as can be, twenty or so metres in the air on a tiled roof.

Lily settled herself down and pulled her knees to her chest for warmth. Breathing out, she could see her breath condense in front of her. Edges of light were peeking out from the horizon, enough to see by. Lily wondered how James had found such a place, adventuring, perhaps, or whilst flying around the Porter estate.

"Got them. It sure is chilly up here isn't it?" James plonked himself down beside her and passed Lily her still steaming tea. "I warmed them up a bit."

"How'd you find this?"

"I got bored one morning. Chelsea is a late sleeper, and both adult Porters get up at about seven or eight. I like mornings, they're fresh and pure. The day hasn't been tainted yet. I love getting up early." James sipped his tea, peering at Lily over the mug's edge. "You've got my new jersey on."

"Sorry. I just grabbed the first thing I saw." Lily tucked her frozen feet under the edge of the doona.

"It's fine, but would you mind switching? This one would still be big on you, and then my sleeves would fit. I've grown a bit since I wore this one last." James motioned to the too short sleeves of the jersey he was wearing.

"Sure." Lily pulled the jersey part way over her head and her shirt, evidently liking the jersey, pulled up with it. James grabbed the bottom of Lily's shirt, and brushing her stomach with the edges of his fingers, pulled it back down. "Tkanhs."

"Pardon?"

Lily removed the jersey and passed it to James. "Thanks for holding my shirt. It gets so awkward when it rides up."

Lily now watched as James pulled the too-small jersey over his head to reveal tan skin and lightly defined abs. He passed the jersey to her and Lily quickly threw it on. It was still warm from James' body heat and smelt overpoweringly of him.

"Not too cold?" James smiled at Lily, sipped his tea and settled back against the windows of the attic. "Just wondering, what exactly did you say to your sister? Chelsea said you called her a cow or something."

"No, my feet are a little chilly, but I'm quite warm. Thanks for the jumper." Lily giggled. "It's quite rude really."

"Lily Evans, rude? Never! C'mon, what'd you say? It can't be that bad." James chuckled, eyes never wavering from the beautiful sunrise flowing over the hills.

"I said 'Fuck you Petunia. Enjoy the rest of your boring life getting done up the ass by your whale husband." Lily smiled at James' shocked look. "I said it was rude."

"High five for Lily." James stretched out his palm to Lily, who slapped it with her own. "That has actually gotta be one of the best things I've ever heard you say. A girl swearing is literally one of the hottest things ever. I hate how they act like prisses cause they think it's going to get them guys."

"I've never done that." Lily put on a fake offended tone.

"True. You're just kinda a priss to start with. I like this you better though." James shrugged at Lily's expression of mild shock. "What? I call it like I see it, sista!" The high, girly tone and over-exaggerated hair flip caused Lily to burst out in laughter.

"Were you channelling Sirius with that hair flip by any chance?"

"Lily, my hair is perfect as am I and I am a sex GOD." James' impressions were precise. He even had Sirius' shocked look at Lily's hair comment. "I'll show you how perfect later." James' even had Sirius' overemphasized wink down to perfection.

"Where did you learn to do those?" Lily finished her tea and put down her cup.

"Easily bored. I've always had a good ear for music, and this was way more fun that piano, so I turned my talents towards the mischievous persuasion." James pulled out his wand and silently doubled the size of the doona before pulling it over himself.

"Piano is very exciting, in case you were wondering." Lily also grabbed the magically enhanced doona and covered her goose-bump covered legs.

"Four years of forced practice was enough for me. Easily bored, remember?" James slid an arm behind his head, against the wall and leaned back, Adam's apple bobbing as he spoke. "I saw your scar by the way. You must've been pretty banged up."

"I basically had to learn to walk again. Remember how klutzy I was in first year? I'd finished physio about two months before school started. Still a bit wobbly on my feet." Lily shrugged, face blank.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. You don't want to talk about that, I'm sure." James ran a hand through his hair and fiddled with his glasses.

"You do that when you're nervous. Fiddle with your glasses. The hair thing is a habit too, when you're thinking." Lily bumped James with her shoulder, "I don't mind talking about it, really, but no-one I told ever really asked. Hessy and Chelsea just took it in and didn't ask much. You're more curious, I guess and I'm not used to that so much."

"Inearlykilledsomeoneonce." James blurted. "AccidentalmagicwhenIwasfive."

"Pardon? I didn't catch all of that." Lily looked confused and James turned to face her.

"I nearly killed someone once. When I was five, some insane stranger on the street tried to kidnap me. I freaked and lashed out with what I could, which at the time, happened to be fire." James sighed. "It feels good say it, to be honest."

"Fire. Your accidental magic was fire? Shit. You've got some serious magic potential locked up in that skinny frame." Lily bumped James on the shoulder with a fist. "My accidental magic was saving a bowl from falling. A bowl. You get fricking fire and I get a bowl. Fantastic. The world is so unfair."

"That's your issue? Not that I nearly killed someone, but that fact that you saved a bowl and I managed to control fire. Lily, you have some screwed up priorities." James looked at the redheaded, green eyed, apparently crazy girl beside him and laughed. "I'm not skinny, it's all muscle, I promise."

"Yeah right." Lily made a loose fist and bumped James in the stomach. Taut muscle greeted her. "Ok fine."

"Ha. Told you so." He paused. "Your accidental magic was saving a bowl? That's weedy, that is. At least mine is sort of impressive."

"It was a very nice bowl, I've got to say. My parents got given it when they got married. I'm not entirely sure what my magic was thinking. 'Bowl, oh yes, got to save that but car crash, nope, don't kick in, everything will be fine'." Lily's face dropped as she and James came to the same conclusion.

"Maybe it did. I mean, no serious lasting damage, and you're alive." James looked over at Lily and her face was blank.

"I never thought about it like that. I could've died. I would've died if I was normal." Lily's chin wobbled and she burst into tears. "I'd be dead and, and, and…"

"Shh shh. It's ok Lily. It's ok." James wrapped an arm around her and pulled Lily in. "You're normal to me. You're normal in this world, and it's your world too, even though you think you might not fit at times."

"I'm a muggleborn in a world that despises us, an oddity in the muggle world. I don't fit in either and I miss being normal." Lily was pragmatic, too much at times.

"You fit here. Your friends love you, hell; I don't know how anyone couldn't at least like you. You're so confident and you try so hard and you still manage to treat everyone well, even when they don't deserve it." James' grip on her tightened, as he remembered the incident that occurred at the end of last years OWL's.

"Well, at least the sunrise is nice." Lily brushed away the tears with the edges of James' jersey. "I'm just a bit emotional, I guess. Not enough sleep will do that to you."

The pair sat and chatted for a good half hour, speaking freely of school, friends, family and everything in between. The sunrise they had come to see was lost as James and Lily conversed, and they only realized that it was eight o'clock when they heard Chelsea's voice, as she knocked on James' bedroom door.


End file.
